Tag: losing your husband
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Grief By the Numbers at Five Months
After… 28 years of marriage3300 nights together23 weeks since Jerry died153 days since Jerry died3 times I’ve left the house wearing mismatched socks8 physical books I’ve read6 times I’ve snapped at someone who is just trying to help me7 days I have baked goodies20 times I’ve remembered the day we met148 mornings I’ve kept to my chronological Bible-reading plan5 times…
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Why I Don’t Have A Home Church Anymore
My Quaker faith journey was interrupted. As a young, single mother who had returned to my beloved Friends meeting where I grew up, I eventually was tapped to serve on the Ministry and Oversight Committee. What incredible work! I was honored to be nominated and took my responsibilities seriously. Unfortunately, my idealism and understanding of…
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When the World Literally Starts Spinning
Nothing seems straight these days. Aside from Jerry’s dying in the hospital just as we were ready to leave after his heart surgery and recovery, other things aren’t quite lining up, either. I first noticed it in my kitchen. In those early days of wanting the kids nearby, I offered to make supper for us…
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Working Together – Apart
It was always Jerry’s. I tried to leave it alone, even when I learned something new or remembered something from my class taught by the experts. But now, without him, the garden along the fence- his garden- is a mess. Eventually, we learned a secret to sustain our successful second marriage. Or else we came…
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What No One Warned Me About When My Husband Died
Are you kidding me? It’s taken two and a half months to begin to get Social Security payments resolved after Jerry’s death. This week I finally had my appointment- by phone- with a representative from Social Security. Nine weeks after my husband died. Just a month after his death, I drove to the local office…
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The Calendar Lies: A Poem
Any child knows the hazy, scorching monthsof June and July are theshortest of all, even though the summer light barely fazes the bats thatflitter from treetopto building, nigh onto eleven.Even though the size of the days is the same onthe page underneatha painting of a beach at sunset. Any bride knows thedays before her wedding…
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I Bought A Hoop Today: A Poem
A perfect $3 circle, itsends joined by a shinybrass screw, thehoney-colored hoopcalled me from the thriftstore shelf to jointhe other women who’vestuck a needle in andout, through fabricscarefully selectedand scraps savedto adorn orjoin with colorfulthreads in elegantchains and stitches orruler-straight lines.Someday, I, too, canuse this perfect hoop,a tool to help mepiece together theabandoned fabrics ofmy…
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One Month Later: Knowing Myself is Crucial
At 66, I’ve learned a thing or two. Much about teaching and learning, of course. Also a bit about succeeding and “failing.” And a good deal about myself, too. This past month has been the ultimate exam in how well I know myself. One thing I’ve learned during this past month of my new situation-…
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A Way Home
Ashesmore like sand in a plastic box inside a cardboard cartonwith his name printedon the label.That’s all.Ninety minutes of brake! andaccelerate!on the four-lane,again at the four-ways and traffic lightson the snakingdetours.I watch my estimatedarrival timetick past the appointment time and inchtoward the 4:00 closing time. I call,shouting into the car speakerthat I’ll be late. She…
