Tag: losing your spouse
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When the World Literally Starts Spinning
Nothing seems straight these days. Aside from Jerry’s dying in the hospital just as we were ready to leave after his heart surgery and recovery, other things aren’t quite lining up, either. I first noticed it in my kitchen. In those early days of wanting the kids nearby, I offered to make supper for us…
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Working Together – Apart
It was always Jerry’s. I tried to leave it alone, even when I learned something new or remembered something from my class taught by the experts. But now, without him, the garden along the fence- his garden- is a mess. Eventually, we learned a secret to sustain our successful second marriage. Or else we came…
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What No One Warned Me About When My Husband Died
Are you kidding me? It’s taken two and a half months to begin to get Social Security payments resolved after Jerry’s death. This week I finally had my appointment- by phone- with a representative from Social Security. Nine weeks after my husband died. Just a month after his death, I drove to the local office…
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The Calendar Lies: A Poem
Any child knows the hazy, scorching monthsof June and July are theshortest of all, even though the summer light barely fazes the bats thatflitter from treetopto building, nigh onto eleven.Even though the size of the days is the same onthe page underneatha painting of a beach at sunset. Any bride knows thedays before her wedding…
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I Bought A Hoop Today: A Poem
A perfect $3 circle, itsends joined by a shinybrass screw, thehoney-colored hoopcalled me from the thriftstore shelf to jointhe other women who’vestuck a needle in andout, through fabricscarefully selectedand scraps savedto adorn orjoin with colorfulthreads in elegantchains and stitches orruler-straight lines.Someday, I, too, canuse this perfect hoop,a tool to help mepiece together theabandoned fabrics ofmy…
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One Month Later: Knowing Myself is Crucial
At 66, I’ve learned a thing or two. Much about teaching and learning, of course. Also a bit about succeeding and “failing.” And a good deal about myself, too. This past month has been the ultimate exam in how well I know myself. One thing I’ve learned during this past month of my new situation-…
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A Way Home
Ashesmore like sand in a plastic box inside a cardboard cartonwith his name printedon the label.That’s all.Ninety minutes of brake! andaccelerate!on the four-lane,again at the four-ways and traffic lightson the snakingdetours.I watch my estimatedarrival timetick past the appointment time and inchtoward the 4:00 closing time. I call,shouting into the car speakerthat I’ll be late. She…
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Guest Post: “What Good” by Sally Shideler
Earlier this month, my husband, Jerry Miller, passed away unexpectedly. In the ensuing chaos, confusion, and grief, I’m turning over my blog space this week to a guest post. Please enjoy the poem “What Good,” by my daughter, Sally Shideler, as she processes the loss of her stepfather and second dad: What good isa handmade…
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Carrying On
Carrying on Morning devotionsMorning Bible readingMorning prayer I’m keeping theroutine. But Lord,I’m hurting:I’m lonely, I’m sad,I’m afraid. I hear that frog croaking,the spring peeper outsidemy back window,and I wonder howI’ll do the hard stuff.How will I removeanother dried-upfrog stuck in thedoorjamb, likelast year? Last year, when Jerry did it. My lists seem overwhelming.I cross off…
